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Why change is hard

What a world we live in, cancel culture is very real. It is something I have been wrestling with lately. We are held to such a high standard of accountability on social media platforms where something said in the past determines who you are now. This is building such as unhealthy habit in us and it scares me to my core. I am on a journey to better myself, I want to build myself up, I want to build others around me up and to do that I need to share what I have learned. In order for me to share growth, I need to present something that I once did not believe in.

The problem with our culture is that we are so scared to learn more about an opposing opinion because we don't want to be wrong. We make a statement and it starts to define us, we are unwilling to change, because we don't want the label of a hypocrite.

When we talk about cancel culture we think about things we say being held against us. This is a scary thought for me because I have said some pretty dumb stuff in my life and I know there are people that view me for the things I have said in my past. This is one half of what is unhealthy about cancel culture in my eyes; in my heart I want to convince the people that view me poorly that what I said was right or somehow justify it because of what I was going though. My reaction should be one of exception and accountability for my words and/or actions. I should seek out forgiveness for my actions not justification. It is so much easier to justify. Quickly the other side of cancel culture is the unwillingness to forgive someone who has wronged a person and/or group. With no forgiveness it breeds a justification response.

Now why do I feel the need to talk about cancel culture in a blog about mental health? I want to get into the topic of self betterment. If you are dealing with mental health and you are trying to find healing. Self betterment will be a big part of your journey. You have most likely developed some unhealthy habits while trying to battle your mental health. (I want to share that it is okay that you have some unhealthy habits, your tired, you have been fighting for so long and you found something that made it easy on you. Your so strong and you need to take care of yourself and once you find some healing from your past we can work on breaking some of the unhealthy habits). Self betterment and self reflection is scary. The more you learn about your mental health the more you learn how your actions have affected the people around you and how you could be hurting someone. You had no idea of this until you started your journey.

I want to start with something in my life that has grown me as a person when it coming to understanding what it means to share my beliefs and being held accountable. I have learned through my journey that I have hurt many people, I have been a bully, I have said unkind things. I can suck to be around sometimes. One thing I have found so hard is that because of the sucky person I was and can be; I can discredit myself at times. I can look like a hypocrite because I am growing, I am learning. I can take responsible for my actions. I am thankful that I have found grace from the people around me.

I am sharing this because I want to highlight why I and so many others are scared to change. It is easier to stay in our lane, in our old ways because that is what people know. When someone tries to change who they are we judge them, we call them a hypocrite because they said one thing now they are changing their views. I am just as guilty of this myself and it needs to change in our culture. We encourage change than once it happens we critique it. We foster an environment where staying status quo is the norm. We make fun of the big guy at the gym trying to lose weight, we bully the small guy trying to build muscle. We make fun of a friend for wanting to stay home and finish school work/papers/work projects. Our culture needs change but we also need to accept it.

Be kind, encourage your loved ones when they try new things. Look at yourself and your heart and take responsible for the ones you have hurt. Give yourself grace and know that your past doesn't define you. But step out, say sorry. Show that you care.

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